i fOund myseLf toDAy..

a vOice of reaSon i fORgot i hAd..

so, i woNt giVE up..

nO..i woNt brEAk doWn..

sooNEr thaT it seEms thaT liFe tURns aroUnd..

aND i wiLL be sTrong..

eVEn iF iT aLL goEs wRong..

it dOEsnT matTEr whA ppL sAys..

aND it doeSnt matTEr hOW loNg it taKEs..

it onLy matTErs hOW i taKE on mYseLF~~<3

========================

aND yeA..i almOSt forgOt

happY 40Th singApoRe birtHdAy!

aiyOX..im bORed of bLoGGing

aND for aLL thOSe lasT feW posTS i wroTE

are jUZ abT my feeLIngs..dATs aLL~

cOZ feelIng reALLY dOWn fOr the pAst fEW dAYs..

bUt nOW afTEr my clOSed oNEs tolD me all thosE thinGy

i jUZ feLT beTTEr..tHAnkX

finalLY..i woNT leT emOTions taKE mE~

foR whAt dAT haVE bEen doNE..

can be turnEd baCk..

iTS God's wiLL to maKE iT thIS wAy.

hMm..dIn weNT to skOOL todAy

insTEad weNt joggIng wiTH my othEr 2 bUDs

phEw~..reaLLy "PANCIT'

tiRed liAO...

wasHEd up afTEr dat dEN meeT up agaIn

wEnt to buONA visTA todAy

weNT to mOE builDing

takE my entrY proOF coz i loSt IT..

dAt wAs mE wiTh mY cuZin aND rosYth

bUT be4 i weNT to thE hospitAL,

playEd pOOL foR a whiLE

wooTX..nvR playEd fOR so loNg Le..

buT i diD manaGE quiTE ok larHX..

all theIR remarkS was likE ' tyco lar! '

ahaCKx..LoLX..bUt serioUSLy i tooK the effORt siaLX

coz nVR playEd siNCe laSt twO monTHs..i tInk*

nOvenA squAre hAs nuthiNg

reaLLy plaIn..bORed

a hR laTEr weNT BK eAt eAt eAt...aiyO

evEn thoUGh if i eAT a bIt..stiLL sAME

eaT a lOt..wiLL NVR gRow fAt.arggHHx

i wAna grOW weigHT..buT hOW?!? hhhhh

hMM..tiME jUZ goEs bY so fAst..

anD itS goNA be the enD of thiS yr sOOn..

fOR nOW..hopIng dAt everythIng wuD be alriTEx

and fOR dAd..u wiLL recoVEr sOOn kX..

liFe jUZ have to gO on anywAy..

we jUZ cudnt Know whAt may haPPen tmR..

oR as the daYS dAt are pAssiNG by..

leTting emOtioNS taKE mE iS useLeSs

and fOR whAtevEr i maYBe thiNKing..

hEre i aM groWn uP at 17,

hAVe to thINk to take carEx of my parEntS

whaT ya' toLD me iS ritEx..

i jUZ cudnT possIbly bE muggIng aND thinkINg all theSe whiLE

maYbe faTE haS madE me inTo thiS situaTioN..

haiXx..

my dAd's juZ beeN discharGEd from the hosPitaL..

his cOnditioN now..critiCaL

the doctoRS are fuckINg' stupID

cant figuRE ouT my dad'S illnEss

in thE enD..weNT for traditionAl treatmenT

hope iT will bE jusT fiNe..haIxx

ive juZ beEn thinkiNG a loTX

sincE these feW weeKS..

as fOR my muM..the tumOR had spReAD

to hEr cheekS..

stiLL..mum dun waNA go check uP

stiLL wanA go treatmEnt..arrGhh

its juSt liKE what u sAid

im the eldEst..

i have to Take carex of mY famiLy

my parenTS wuD be happY to see DaT

my bRo,parenTs..my studIEs toos

siNCe aLL theSe happeN...

thinGS at hoME have chANged and changEd

reaLLi feEL like so diffEreNt..

miSsed the atmosphEre liKE last tiME

whenEver dinnEr comEs..

the whoLE family wiLL eat togetHEr

noW...haiZz..no moRe readiXx

i musT be relAx..

oR deprEssion wiLL comE to mE

whICh wiLL make myselF really worSe..hAixX

whateVA u saID to mE

thanKs a loTx..i appReciAte IT

*hUggSS*

haixx..

arGGhh..

thinING why tHIS have to hapPen

everythINg will be alRiTe..

sufferiNGS will briNg sweeT endiNGS..

argHH..im reaLLy reAlly reAlly stREss..

thinkIng abt theSe and dAT alL the dAy..kaOX

thinkiNG how to conCentrAte on mY studiEs,my parEnts,

tHEse anD dAt..

my dAd's sTiLL.haIZz..no improVEmenT

in the hospitAl for 2 weeKS plUS rEAdiXx..

my mUm stILL workINg thouGh she's dam siCk

argHH...conFusEd*...stoNEd*..

i nOe u ppL woNt belIEve mE

iTS nOt the sickNEss dAT both my pareNts goT..

iTS tHE inNEr thingY..aRghhh NVm..

its liKE sumoNE is contRollING my parentS boDY..

whAt? dATs wAd thAT person my mY mUm visitEd sAid

is thiS TRue or fAke?!?

bUt itS kiNDa obvioUS

seeiNG my dAd reaLLy reaLLy rottiNG

noW very weAk,no appetitE,becomINg more thinnEr

haiZz..whenVEr visiT my daD..wiLL hav to contrOL my emoTion

even thoUgh as a last resoRt,..

i woNt let emotionS takE me..its uSelEss

haIZzz..

whOEvEr reAds aLL thIS..

i nOE u aLL undersTAnds mE..

eithEr feelING To be lEft alOnE

coZ thinkiNG baCk...haiZz..

i jUZ cuDnt gET enoUGh slEep evErydAy

duRing my lectuRes,wiLL faLL aslEEp

den becoME very blUR

espEcially intRoductory chemistrY

i dun unersTAnd a siNGle shIt from thEre

and there will be a Test this weEk..haiZz

arGGHH...Juz hOW im suppOSd to dO noW?..

once agaIn...

we hAve to trEAsure whAT we haVE for nOW

coZ u maY nOT knOW..

sicknEss oR anythiNG might happEn to U or to ur parenTS

at any mOmeNt...

haIXx..

hopiNG dAt they wiLL recovEr soon~

*suffErings wiLL briNG swEet endiNGS*