OMG.

2nd last string.
my guitar string broke off;
while playing the song
qing fei de yi.

lucky i wore specs.
it directly hit my specs.
just another luckiness.
or not i would be blind.
another problem came again.
heh.

changed blog song again.
bahhhh.

back to school.
had my general microbio phase test
pretty easy.
saw a lot of microbes in my slide
with the microscope.

next week;
will be having lab safety test.
plus molecular bio test too.

am having tests and tests
this few weeks.
the exam coming soon.

aiyerrrr.

bored.
still havent done my last touch-up
on my last programming.
yesterday i got to crack
speedupmypc ver 2.5
woots.
extraodinary good.
heh.

hmmm.
money. money. money
have been hunting for jobs
this few weeks.
the one at delifrance toa payoh
gonna try out soon.
if hadi and the other corleones wanna work.

i had to pay my own bill
which now my bank money
decreased to $2.11.
poor thing.

kay people;
im off.

aiyerr.
doing this out of boredom.

composed this song
and the lyrics myself.

i'm in your heart tonight.
acoustic.

i managed to embed the song to my blog.

my,my.

took me hrs finding the music hosting site.

bahhhhhh.

Oh my.
This look fuckin' sweet.
uh-uh..

Take a look past the mirror
If you can,
And I'm sure well see more of this tomorrow,
If you just believe
That your really here
And that we would do
Anything
In our power
To repair
Your shattered life.

We'll pick up the pieces
Of the sky;
We'll throw away the black,
And hand you rays of light
And warm sleeping stars
in their blanket of navy velvet.

We'll hold your heart for you
And wrap it in bubbles,
If it means it wont sink
Into what we've felt
And what we'll leave all behind
As soon as your clock starts ticking again.
for you..

And we can all lie in the grass like we used to,
Plucking white petals from daisies
And blowing dandelions into the flawless blue sky;
Counting how many butterfly wings
We spy dancing through the air.

Or maybe we could think about that instead
And just sit and talk
About memories that we've found again
Buried deep beneath sandcastles
And hidden inside shells by the sea
That hold time preciously within their curves.

And we can crack open rusty, cold hearts
And peer inside
To see what used to be,
Then pair them off
With a one way ticket
Into the pale horizon.

And He'll give you a new one,
If you just ask.
And if He rejects,
Then I'll gladly fix up mine
And pass it on to you,
Wrapped up in your favourite colour
And fashioned with ribbons and glitter.

Then we can seize the day
And steal all the time we can,
Because we're gonna live this life through,
All the way, sweetheart,
And there's nothing that can stop us
From living our dreams
Out fucking loud.


Oh my.
memorable days.
i had;
in the past.

fragments unforgotten;
end.

not been blogging
for quite some time.

today,
went to to the gym
had my amino acid supplement
the night before.

and oh my GOD.
it really works real fine.
heee.

3 hrs of intense
workout.
with breaks in between,
of course.

soon after that,
went to khatib wit Hadi.
yea. only two of us.
Raihan got blisters.
Faris needa go jammin'
Manan needa go to the clinic.
sumore who?
all busy
aiyerrr.

went to khatib.
i loved my old house.
at khatib of course.
how i wished i would not moved out
to sembawang.

went to northland primary school.
not inside.
seen the changes.
walking down there
really makes me think the times
when i was still a kid
in primary school.

how shiookkk it is.
to reminisce back the pastimes.
talked about all the devil behaviour
espeacially Hadi.
loads of crapp jokes.

ohkae.
im tired.

the old guitar
haqeel's friend took it back.
but nehmind.
Taufan faithfully
gave Hazeeq,
which is my brother
his guitar.

ha.
at least i lose nothing
a black.
white stringed guitar.
nice.
=DDD.

at last
i got to figure out
this program called
t-search.

phewww.

wpe pro;
speedgear;
xelerator;
laiji.
+recent t-search.
hee.

all done.
with my programmings.
im gonna strike BIG.

weeeee~~

haizz.
i don't want sumone to go thru'
what i went thru' last year.

but.
somehow of what i said
are all meaningless
and useless rite?

and it had happened.
slashing,bleeding
and hurting your heart.

i don't wanna
feel the same feeling back
in those days back.

pleaseeee;
its not the end yet for you.
and critisizing yourself makes it worser.

just..
tc.
of urself.

did my pathetic recordings.
heh.
whole day; yesterday
fingers cialat.

figured out how to play
tiger lily by matchbook romance
easy song.
only 4 chords.
heh.
took bout 1 hr only.
=DDD

had my seminar earlier
in the morning.
was pretty okaee.

back to school.
had lab safety phase test,
had microbio test;
had general microbio test;
more tests coming up.

aiyerr.

latersss.

these are some of the pics
from my frend's digicam
of last week's corleone's party


-yeaaa. at last fire is burning.=)

-messyyyy

-the corleone's sons. lol.

-yummy. yumm yumm.

-at last we got to play synchronisely

-massimo raylimo corleone

-eh? forgot the lyrics. lol.

it happens for a reason.

i don't want it to brood over me anymore.
I've wasted my time on all these things.
Thinking back,
I've left all my dreams behind.

That thought you gave,
would it happen?

`sighs.

If were gonna meet again,
things will seriously change.
it won't be like the past anymore.

thanks lots.
wil be missin' you.

to you.
sorry..

alrite.
last saturday+sunday happenings
was truckloads of hips of fun.

bbq gathering.
at sembawang park.

we set off at 1pm.
fortunately those who goes for the bbq
have to pay $10 each.
ha.

there was about like 14 people there.
Hadi,Faris,Manan,Khai,Jy,Saiful
Asrol,Fadli,Raihan and Syazwan
and me of course.
Plus
the girls;
Amalina,Khaty,Nuraini and Syafiqah
came at night.

1st thing at 2 plus.
WHOOOSHHH.
RAINNN..
SUPER HEAVY RAIN

too bad we continued the bbq in the rain.
with us dam soaked with rain.
played in the rain.
with the percussion performing at the hill of the park
and we were like shouting at dem'

like.
'ppl of smb park,
we want u to follow the samba beat
and like all of us who repeated back.
haha. =P

played soccer.
with the SAMBA beat.
haha.
our dribbles have to folo the beat.
lol.
4 by 4.
no goalkeeper.
was fun with the big track deserted

Asrol and Fadli are the ones busy
bbq-ing and lighting the fire.
ME? shake legs. ha.
waiting for food to come.

after eating and eating
and still hungry and hungrier
after seeing food arriving again and again.

THEN.
RAIN come again.
this time more harsh
so dam heavy.

see lar.
never pray the night before
to ask not rain to come.
lol.

i brought my guitar.
Plus Fadli's.
Plus Faris's.
sang the song
'Don't you cry'
full song.
with bassist;Manan
rhythm;Faris
and lead;Jian Yong

and other songs too.
that was what we do in the rain
with guitars dam blody wet
sumore got water in the hole of the guitar.
lol.

but.
singing in the rain
with this song.
wow.
power lah.

played taidi.
blackjack too.

played.
ate.
played.
ate.
all in the rain.
till 5 plus.

shiokkkkkkkkkkk.haha =))

and me.
so stupid.
never wear cap.
see lar.
wear wax on hair.
till all flat.
with the wax drippers coming down
on the fringe.
aiyooo.

night time.
girls came.
but for a while
3 hrs likeddat

everyone pooned $2 each
bought pizza
canadian 2 for 1 pizza

while waiting for pizza
Faris,Jy,Fadli and me
went to sun plaza
bought more charcoal
more ice cubes.

chilled at faris's place
a while
but no one at home.
aiyerr.
wanted to try out his new electric guitar
nyehh.. nehmind.

headed back to sembawang park.
this time with more food
PLUS.
pizza
weeee~~~~

ate.
ate.
ate.

then i sang and played
'thank you mum acoustic'
solo.

memories.
this song for my mum
she's cured from nose cancer
thank GOD.
to the traditional treatment.
=))
and also
thanks truckloads,Karen.
for confiding me that time
x)

ohkaes.
after the long session
of singing
and eating
and singing
and eating;

it was so late at night
asrol and me left early
sumhow get on the last few buses
asrol needa go work the next day.
i've got seminar to attend to.

but.
i missed the birthday bash
Hadi's birthday!
wahh.
missed it.

alritey.
thanks people.

this party was helluva
truckloads of fun.
=DDDDDDDDD

looking forward
to the chalet this april
hee.
=)

this are some of the pics
taken by my phone and
some from the digicam.


-blue breeze


-taidi time


- we played and sang don't cry by guns n roses


-guitar leisures again.


-raihan preparing the burner


-eatio time


-aiyerr. hot! hot!


-corleone's party!!


-at last rain have stopped for the time being


-WAHH. it takes us forever to start up the fire


-[Hadi] OII. help me start the fire lehhhh. =X

weeeeeeeeeee~~

ohkae.
long time didn't update.

first of all,
didn't go to school today.
dry coughs.
fever.
running nose.

just because yesterday
went home in the heavy rain.
and the other reason is
two days before that;
also went home in the rain too.

went to the doctor
only received one day MC.
like real only i can recover by tomorrow.

as long i can recover by saturday is good enough.
will be having the Corleone's Party.
someore its on the eve of Hadi's birthday.
confirm kena birthday bash.
wakakakaka. x)

here i am home alone.
bored to the max.
aiyerr.
even my friend asked me to learn
hands down acoustic.
no mood to find the tabs now.

yesterday got to play half the song.
in the end, my body became warmer and hotter.
then have to bathand sleep.
and today i bathed for like 6 times.

ohkae.
school is bad.
lab maths is terrible.
microbio is terrible.
general micro is terrible.

tests coming up soon.
wow.
i hope so not to stay back for another year
if i fail one of these modules.

one more thing.

ive encrypt all my javascripts

so that people cant view my source

its for safety and copyright infringement purposes.

if u wanna any of my scripts, just pm me.

i will provide on only each script.

alritey.
ive got nothing to do at home.
slack and rest.
and the guitar's,
haqeel's friend needing it soon.
hope not this week.
bringing it for the party this sat.

adios.
matogolocos.
aiyerr. wadever they spell it.

2005

The end of the year.

What have I achieved this year?
With every year that passes,
It feels like I've achieved
less and less every year,
like if I was just cruising along.
it feels like every year passes even quicker.

Even cruising along feels so fast.
I am happy to concede that,
given how much of a disaster it has been
-the first worst year of my life.
The worst being the beginning till end.

So 2006 could bring me something better?
Ha! Not a chance.
I know that in this world,
in my life,
in this place,
I have to make my own luck.

I have to take the initiative
to do my own thing,
in my own way.

I have to be my cause,
my motive,
my force.
It is up to me.

Cheers to 2006.

=))

Last tears i shed.

I don't want to be hostile.
I don't want to be dismal.
But I don't want to rot in apathetic existence.
See, I want to believe you


And I wanted to trust you
And I want to have faith to put away the dagger.


But you lied and cheated;
You lied and cheated;
And you lied and cheated.


So long and goodnight.

famous last words

whats wrong with people these days?
just get normal jobs and
be satisfied with normal successes
and accomplishments,

no.

we've gotta hurl ourselves off
of twelve-hundred foot cliffs
to prove that we can do it.

So.
its dated today;
28th december 2005.

4 more days
to a brand new year.
Left the traces,
scars,
memories,
left behind.

2005.
A year of remembrance
I won't forget
for the rest of my lives.
The sorrows; happiness.
shared.

Moments unforgettable,

That day when mum got cancer,
That day when dad got terribly ill,
That day when financial becomes a problem,
That day when the whole family sobbed,

That day i cried for weeks non-stop,
That day i felt its gonna be the end soon,
That day i felt life aren't meaningful anymore,
That day the specialists confirmed mum got cancer
on the day i registered for my ITE admission,


That day when i sacrificed a lot,
That day i've been a burden to people,

That day i saw shooting stars,

That day someone changed my life,
That day someone brighten up my life,

That day someone being by my side

That day and till today,
I will always reminisce these sentiments.
And make this as a test for me and us, family
'sufferings bring sweet endings'
you said this happens,
it does for real.

I just wanna say this to you
Thanks once again,
for letting the rainbow shine on me
again.

2006.
a year.
where butterflies gonna
fill the empty cups of mine.

2005.
won't happen again.
I hoped.
and maybe for the rest of the years.


till i close this last chapter of the story...

-hayqal

Children.
The magic of innocence.

Innocence is like a bubble we are in,
once pricked by the needle of truth,
It's lost,
gone,
varnished.
There is no turning back.
Out we go into the real world.

Cruel facts.
Reality.
The harsh world.
We no longer feel safe.
We can never feel safe.
Not ever again.
Maybe only when it all;
comes to an end.

urs truly,
-hayqal.

Answers

answers arent out there.
so stop looking for them.
why do people feel the need to
constantly label and compartmentalize
everything that happens?
why do people always need concrete proof of everything?
whatever happened to faith?
i dont mean the reilious kind nessecarily, just faith in general.

when did that die?
when did people stop believing in that which you cannot see?
when did people start needing logical proof of everything in the universe?
since when are people unable to take
lifes events with a grain of salt and just deal with it?

why do people need to know where
we've been and where we're headed and why?
since when was it impossible to go a night
without talking to someone without that person telling you that your friendship is falling apart? what ever happened to trust?
and confidence?
did i miss something?

its been my belief that concrete answers arent out there.
and i can waste years and years looking
for these answers that dont exist,
and just end up with a head full of thought,
the frustration of not finding them,
and the wasted time spend looking for them.

so just STOP. and just...go with it.
just "be" and stop wondering why.
its futile. just "be" and be happy.
and even if i did find these concrete answers,
what am i gonna do with them?
learn?

pfft.

thats just a myth parents tell us when we're little.
nevermind.
just someone tell me why because its 100% beyond me.
like i said,
nevermind,
i dont know what i'm talking about.

"do you ever wish you could freeze a moment in your day,
look at it, and say 'this is not my life"

urs truly,
-hayqal.

ohkae.
im back at last
with desired words;
getting to be spared.

lots of things
happened recently

[latest updates]
-grandma found (cursed; sort of]
-parents condition improving
but somehow getting it back =X
-my modules are getting complicating
-i rebooted my com 4 times
after getting the new year virus; eerrghhh

-created this new skin,
-things shud get better now =)
-last of all;
those ppl who consoled me the other time
esp Karen,Taufan and Clarissa
thanks truckloads.

have to catch up some things now.
latersss.

urs truly,

hayqal

end of his stories

thank you peeps

for making the life journey going on

to my deepest thanks

to all;

i'll probably be back

next time with happy moments

if time allows

till we meet again..

tataaa.

So.

its been long since

me and my other buddies

got to meet up

when we are free

no schedule today

was Me,

Hadi,Faris and Mannan

met up at noon

and went to the gym

had our normal workouts

there is this exercise thing

i cant bring up the dam bicep

to pull it. si bei hard

Me and Hadi though it was easy

but then came there

super-paiseh

ha.

yea. we did almost all the stations

confirm tomorrow ah.

wake up.

aiyooooo.

here pain there pain.

see larh. never do warm up rite? =X

ate my favourite lo-ma-kai

whatever they spell it.

reminds me of my secondary school days

headed for a swim after that

was WOW.

NEVER GO SWIMMING ON SUNDAYS

its helluva lotsa of people.

like a group of army ants.

in the end,we went

for sun-tanning for about one hr

but uh-uh

it seems i didnt grow darker a bit also

coz the sph too high. lols

but grow darker a bit on the leg and alps part only

dived in the pool after the sweatiness

and the tanning feeling.

yucks.

rest at the ends of swomming pool.

just to cool down.

washed up

and ate again.

hmm.. it seems hadi started picking back the habit

of smoking again.

it just makes me wana start again.

just the menthol smell makes me urghhh..

*wonders*

ok nehmind cut out of it.

i've regretted.

cut out of it

next sunday all free again

poly students all holiday again

wahh so good sak.

planeed to jammed next sunday.

so hadi u better memorise

the lyrics to sing ah.

it was all perfect.

4 of us.

hee. =)

we talked about the old days,

the pastimes

the laughters.

haha.

perhaps we can organise a chalet

for the ex-smb sec students

that would be good

maybe next year feb-march

i wonder i have the holidays on that month

hope so.. =))

hmm.. headed hoem after that

after some licks on the ice cream we bought

get home changed

1 hr later

met up again

this time 4 of us

with Jy and Hanafi

played badminton

near my house there

was funnnn

with us shouting

the japanese versus the indons

lols

faris's hair is dam long,

so tied up his hair got ponytail behind.

haha.

changed shifts

for every 21 pts scored on one side

lucky i bought the guitar

if not boring after playing badminton.

played a few songs

den i went of readi

tompang my guitar at hanafi's hse.

so tmr i collect after school

lazy to bring home today.

ohkaes..

x))

and to all..

those who console me,

advising me,

being there for me

thank you.

my mum's condition has improved.

the tumor is gone already..

*grins*

its gone.its gone.its gone.

no more cancer.

END.

for 9 months of the pain

at last, it came to a great ending

sufferings bring sweet results at the end of the day

that's right.

i truly believe it now.

thank you all,

especially

Taufan,Clarissa,Hadi,Syl,Saiful

and Karen

and to other frends out there

Thank you so much

I appreciate it=))

Finally,

its the new beginning.

I don't want it to be worsen anymore.

this year,

I'll remember.

Hope next year,

it would be a better year =))