This month of July surely will hit me hard
right into the edge of my heart.
My late friend,Zawiyah passed away on the 12th of July.
My dear Grandma passed away on the 25th of July.

The moments, sorrows, painfulness
through days and days and nerverending?

Between the periods of the Late,
i am supposed to go for work in Swissotel.
I did not turn up on one of the weekends i have booked.
I am doomed okay?
im gonna be suspended for 2 weeks or so or more
for not answering back the call that they called me.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh...
No mood to work.
Who would want to if this condition just keep going on?
-sighs*

Hmmm..
about my future.
I dont know where to go after i graduated from my course.
NS? If have chance, go to poly? Or work?
Urrghhh.
confused. im dumb.

Life have to go on,
even with the bitter past.

Remember us on quiet days
While raindrops whisper on her pane
But in her memory have no grief
Let only the fun we knew remain.

Remember us when evening stars
Look down on her with steadfast eyes

And when her thoughts do turn to us
Know that we would not have you cry

But live for us and laugh for us
When she is happy, so are we..

Remember an old joke we shared
Remember us when Spring walks by
Think once of us when she is glad


A friend whom i've lost,
A friend is still a friend.
We'll never forget you in our memories..

On behalf of my class,
To our dearest friend, Zawiyah Binte Mohd Muliana,

We would like to send our deepest condolences to you.
May all our prayers be remembered by you.
May you rest in peace..

Your contributions,
Your joys and laughter,
will still be retained in our memories.

The late Z that we used to know
will always be remembered in our hearts. <3

just a short poem for her..

Fill not your heart with pain and sorrow,
but remember her in every tommorrow

Remember the joy the laughter,
She had only gone to rest of a little while.
Although her leaving causes grief and pain, her going will be remembered.

Remember her, not as she is now, but of what she used to be.
Because she will remember you all and look on with a smile,
Understand, in your heartsive only gone to rest for a little while.
As long as she have the love for each of you,
She can live her life in the hearts of all of you.

In loving memory, of our Late Zawiyah <3.>

Tragedies happen so quickly..
And till now i'm still as traumatized of what had happened over her.

The captured moment of what I saw after the the fall from the bicycle.

I kept having this very bad feeling and it's repeating again and again.
Maybe time will heal the pain but it would take a very long time.
I promised to repair her computer again,

I promised to teach her the chords for this chinese song.

Still couldn't accept this fate..

It's too late..

Just got back from jamming at Kris's house a hour ago.
Was with only Tiago and Kris.
So just the three of us.

We played 'canon rock'
and 'die dead enough'
=))

Jammed for 4 hours.
And me and tiago were so tireddd.
My fingers waliao got teared/haus,
coz of the solos etc.

Then off we go makan at BK.
Lepak-ed.
Home sweet home~!
=D

So far ive done some designs,
shirt designs. =))

I just need to send it
for printing on plainshirts.
It's gonna be niceee.

hehks.

I'm buying a new guitar soon.
Maybe a better brand and more bars,
for playing solos in acoustic =)

I just felt like i missed singing to you..

I noe i have not been blogging for some time.
Okays, i just feel like blogging rite now
coz people are bugging me to update.
Kay, fine.

Life is still like usual.
Ups and downs.
About my grandma's case,
She's nearly recovering now.
Thank God! =))

Sighs.
I dont know why my family or family members get sick so easily.
Hmmm,
My dad got back his numbness in leg again.
Its like sometimes half of his body cant feel anything.
At all.
For my mum,
I dont noe whether its cancer OR a person's doing.
Its reallyyy dam swollen now.
And as usual blood always will ooze out again non-stop.

I dont know why all of these things are happening.
I will just wait for the day when things gonna be alright.

I cant imagine
the hardship, sufferings my family have gone thru so hard.
The huge sum of money spent going thru and fro to indonesia for treatment.

Luckily my dad got a job back as an engineer.
Pheewwwws!
Financial wise was really unstable for the past months.
As we cant just rely on my mum's boutique only.

These person's doings are going overboard.
Really extreme overboard.
I wished he would die, die a terible,painful death
and get his worst punishment ever.

I dont want to go on telling these story bout this person.
It goes all the back.
Whether its true or fake,
It is real.

Sighsssssss.
Life is so unpredictable.
Sometimes i cudnt even accept the facts.
Sometimes like wad ive said its gone overboard now.

Just what i could do now?
Just nothing...

I could just wait till that miracle came upon me.
and also to my mum too.

About the banquet at swissotel job,
stil waiting.
I need to work now, earn extra cash
maybe for car license or buy personal stuffs.
=)

No one's at home in the afternoon except me
for like 1 week plus.
Grandma's terribly sick.
Kinda missed her,
everytime she would just keep nagging
and nagging and talking the whole day.

She would always cook better dishes
than what my maid cooks.
She would always buy for me
snacks/food/water when she goes downstairs.

Sighs.
It's so quiet at home now.
Grandma cant hardly walks now.
and feeling so weak.
Mum says this could be the last days/weeks
seeing her.


i just wished i could live a life of my own,
and runaway from all these problems...

fever,
sore-throat,
flu,
muscle-aches.

i got the muscle aches from the gym workouts
and swimming last few days.
and got the rest next day.

didnt even slept whole night of yesterday,
so i msn-ed,
create a new profile in 'bolt'
learned 2 new songs,
i live my life for you,

and;

everything burns.
hehks.

ive got a new tip.
earning money is easy.

just take part in online surveys to get cash
debited to your account

or

online investment.

tats all what this australian guy
told me and he he became rich etc, lol.

i tried online surveys,
but its such a big hassle.
the surveys are veryyy longgg
and one survey can earn me up to $1 US money.

siannnnnnn...

Left with nothing.....

My grandma got into hospital again,
after they said that she got dengue fever.
WTF?
Its really weird,
coz changi general hospital got lots of mosquitos
at the waiting area.

KAOX.
sumore its like 2 am on my birthday sumore.
Had to rush her to hospital etc.. blah3

kayssssss.

First wish
Hoping my mum to recover back from her nose 'cancer'
It grew back like last time again.
x.x

Second wish
I hope my dad wont get stroke and get sick again.
Half of his body became numb sumtimes,
and cannot be felt..
sighhsssss.

Third Wish
For 'that' to happen,
but its not gonna be possible.

School is back for now.
I took medical technology as my core module,
which would end at october.

Then would be attachment coming up.
Then would be end of school,
Then hope i get to poly,
Then go for NS,
Then hope i get to a gd company for my real job
and earn loads of money!!!!,
Lols.
Hehks. =))

Hmmmm,
I gotta change my blogskin soon
and do my class blog which will be finishing soon.
I've just installed photoshop after reformatting my com.
back to workkkk,erps. :)

I'm happy for my dad.
My dad found a job as an engineer back,
after few months of hunting jobs.
Phew~~
Seriously a big relief.

10th of May,
My baby brother's birthday.

14th of May,
Would be mother's day + my birthday!
Sweet. =)
I just dont wanna it to happen like
wad happen on last year's birthday.
But this time, it wont right? :)

It's such a nice rainbow yesterday.
I assume ur life now is getting better, rite?
^__^

I used to this
I used to that
I used to do the things,
which i would always do.

I used to look what's been happening,
I used to make sure it just goes fine,

I used to read back all those memoirs
I usedddddd toooooooooooo.

It didn't happen again,
not anymore.

I would clich and grasp on to the last hope.
Hoping that it would go on just what i used to.....

I still haven't paid my bills yet which,
is like $90 over.
Same for my brother worser $200 over.

I must work,
part-time from now on.
I was stupid to realise from now on.
Even though all the hard-work interviews,
i went;
failed.

Hmmmm,
Last 2 days was the corleone's bbq pit.
:))
Though it rain-ed for a while,
the bbq still goes on in the shelter. =P
This time there were less pictures taken.
So, i don't bother posting them up here.

Totally, it was good.
Maybe the last gathering.
But going to langkawi nxt year.
Thats what we are all planning.
hehks.

I'll be leaving for KL tonight.
For only one day,
so i'll be home at around 3 or 4 am plus.

Mum's going for treatment in KL,
hoping for the best.......

woooottsss.
what a break,
one month.

all i did was slacking.
in fact that why i didnt work?
it makes me go nuts going around
singapore for interviews again and again
=P

coming up, bbq pit.
corleone's party,
this saturday.
=DDD.


this 21 april
would be the exam results.
gonna be impatient to view it.

just came back from chalet.
aloha resort cum downtown east.
dead tiredddd.
3 days 2 nights was really good.

swimm-ing,
barbecu-ing,
cook-ing.
guitar-ing,
sing-ing.
chatt-ing,
movie-ing,
arcade-ing
late nights sleep-ing,
=DD

the most touching is
the video crews did a graduation video
about our class.
veryyy touch-ing.
few burst into tears.
hehs.

invited the course manager
and other lecturers for the bbq
and the view-ing of the video.
=))

class B,
its the end of us.
we are gonna split up in the next semester.
class b left with good memories,
how we worked together,
how we got thru together with the stumbles upon.

next semester wud be classes P,Q,R,S.
super weird.
x.x

kayyssss.
hope i got into biomed tech module.
and soon attachment in oct.
looking forward.

hmmmm..
i feel like i miss studying.
yar rite.
hehs.
=D

laterssssssssssss.

Time just passes so quickly,
10.12.2005.
Its been one year passed.
10.12.2005,
that day when things stumble down on my mind.
things changed and are not meant to be.

But till today,
I feel blessed for God and the ppl
who cared and consoled for me.
And giving me advices etc.

When thinking back about the past,
its just so un-imaginable.
How i took care of myself,
How i faced the stumbles thru' the journey,
And how i managed to keep the trust in myself.

To youu,
Really thanks lotttsssssss.
Though what ure feeling now is bad,
things will change soon,
and make u smile like before. ^^

I'll be looking forward for the rainbow to appear.
and more rainbows to come as days pass by.
and u'll have a better life ahead.
=))

day's out at sentosa today.
11am.

the sun was scorching hot
and it's gonna be perfect for tanning.
yaya it went all perfectly fine.
with beach volleyball using soccer ball lol.
and soccer with all the hot burned sweat.

it was ohkae til about 4pm.
and it rained.
lucky we were on the way to the changing room.
hahs.

iy was quite funny though.
we do like cheerleader style in the water.
2 base,2 person on top and me on the most topppp.
yea right it went stable for like 5 secs?
when we took a picture of it.
and poof splashed into the water.
hardly drowned. lol.

was like 7 people went there including me.
=)

looking forward for the class chalet this mon,tue and wed.

noe smth?
i wana do housing on my handphone,
black color casing! lols
its gonnabe NICE.
=DDDD
hehs.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

exams are over!
one month of break and relaxation.
looking forward for the chalet soon.
looking forward for the bbq pit soon.
=))

hehs.
last week went to wild wild wet,
at downtown east.
was dammm helluva great.
though it was raining a while on that day.

the rides there are better than escape theme park.
coz u see,
before taking a ride, u have to
queue up which can take up to 30 mins.
lols.

kayyyyys.
i just downloaded this
ultra,extreme biug file
called the service pack 2 for windows xp.
326 MB plus all the critical updates.
omg.

and at last i got my movie maker 2.1.
phewwwwww.
before that i had the old version,1.1.
which had no transition effects,blah3.

we will be doing the class photo movie,
just for memories this tuesday.
=))

hehs.
guess what?
i distorted my old guitar
and take out the strings and the tuner gears
onto my black guitar.

phew..
with all the pliers,screws etc.
i got back the own form back.
hahs.
looked better.
=DD

ohkaes.
laterssssssssssss.