aiyOX..im bORed of bLoGGing

aND for aLL thOSe lasT feW posTS i wroTE

are jUZ abT my feeLIngs..dATs aLL~

cOZ feelIng reALLY dOWn fOr the pAst fEW dAYs..

bUt nOW afTEr my clOSed oNEs tolD me all thosE thinGy

i jUZ feLT beTTEr..tHAnkX

finalLY..i woNT leT emOTions taKE mE~

foR whAt dAT haVE bEen doNE..

can be turnEd baCk..

iTS God's wiLL to maKE iT thIS wAy.

hMm..dIn weNT to skOOL todAy

insTEad weNt joggIng wiTH my othEr 2 bUDs

phEw~..reaLLy "PANCIT'

tiRed liAO...

wasHEd up afTEr dat dEN meeT up agaIn

wEnt to buONA visTA todAy

weNT to mOE builDing

takE my entrY proOF coz i loSt IT..

dAt wAs mE wiTh mY cuZin aND rosYth

bUT be4 i weNT to thE hospitAL,

playEd pOOL foR a whiLE

wooTX..nvR playEd fOR so loNg Le..

buT i diD manaGE quiTE ok larHX..

all theIR remarkS was likE ' tyco lar! '

ahaCKx..LoLX..bUt serioUSLy i tooK the effORt siaLX

coz nVR playEd siNCe laSt twO monTHs..i tInk*

nOvenA squAre hAs nuthiNg

reaLLy plaIn..bORed

a hR laTEr weNT BK eAt eAt eAt...aiyO

evEn thoUGh if i eAT a bIt..stiLL sAME

eaT a lOt..wiLL NVR gRow fAt.arggHHx

i wAna grOW weigHT..buT hOW?!? hhhhh

hMM..tiME jUZ goEs bY so fAst..

anD itS goNA be the enD of thiS yr sOOn..

fOR nOW..hopIng dAt everythIng wuD be alriTEx

and fOR dAd..u wiLL recoVEr sOOn kX..

liFe jUZ have to gO on anywAy..

we jUZ cudnt Know whAt may haPPen tmR..

oR as the daYS dAt are pAssiNG by..

leTting emOtioNS taKE mE iS useLeSs

and fOR whAtevEr i maYBe thiNKing..

hEre i aM groWn uP at 17,

hAVe to thINk to take carEx of my parEntS

whaT ya' toLD me iS ritEx..

i jUZ cudnT possIbly bE muggIng aND thinkINg all theSe whiLE

maYbe faTE haS madE me inTo thiS situaTioN..

haiXx..

my dAd's juZ beeN discharGEd from the hosPitaL..

his cOnditioN now..critiCaL

the doctoRS are fuckINg' stupID

cant figuRE ouT my dad'S illnEss

in thE enD..weNT for traditionAl treatmenT

hope iT will bE jusT fiNe..haIxx

ive juZ beEn thinkiNG a loTX

sincE these feW weeKS..

as fOR my muM..the tumOR had spReAD

to hEr cheekS..

stiLL..mum dun waNA go check uP

stiLL wanA go treatmEnt..arrGhh

its juSt liKE what u sAid

im the eldEst..

i have to Take carex of mY famiLy

my parenTS wuD be happY to see DaT

my bRo,parenTs..my studIEs toos

siNCe aLL theSe happeN...

thinGS at hoME have chANged and changEd

reaLLi feEL like so diffEreNt..

miSsed the atmosphEre liKE last tiME

whenEver dinnEr comEs..

the whoLE family wiLL eat togetHEr

noW...haiZz..no moRe readiXx

i musT be relAx..

oR deprEssion wiLL comE to mE

whICh wiLL make myselF really worSe..hAixX

whateVA u saID to mE

thanKs a loTx..i appReciAte IT

*hUggSS*

haixx..

arGGhh..

thinING why tHIS have to hapPen

everythINg will be alRiTe..

sufferiNGS will briNg sweeT endiNGS..

argHH..im reaLLy reAlly reAlly stREss..

thinkIng abt theSe and dAT alL the dAy..kaOX

thinkiNG how to conCentrAte on mY studiEs,my parEnts,

tHEse anD dAt..

my dAd's sTiLL.haIZz..no improVEmenT

in the hospitAl for 2 weeKS plUS rEAdiXx..

my mUm stILL workINg thouGh she's dam siCk

argHH...conFusEd*...stoNEd*..

i nOe u ppL woNt belIEve mE

iTS nOt the sickNEss dAT both my pareNts goT..

iTS tHE inNEr thingY..aRghhh NVm..

its liKE sumoNE is contRollING my parentS boDY..

whAt? dATs wAd thAT person my mY mUm visitEd sAid

is thiS TRue or fAke?!?

bUt itS kiNDa obvioUS

seeiNG my dAd reaLLy reaLLy rottiNG

noW very weAk,no appetitE,becomINg more thinnEr

haiZz..whenVEr visiT my daD..wiLL hav to contrOL my emoTion

even thoUgh as a last resoRt,..

i woNt let emotionS takE me..its uSelEss

haIZzz..

whOEvEr reAds aLL thIS..

i nOE u aLL undersTAnds mE..

eithEr feelING To be lEft alOnE

coZ thinkiNG baCk...haiZz..

i jUZ cuDnt gET enoUGh slEep evErydAy

duRing my lectuRes,wiLL faLL aslEEp

den becoME very blUR

espEcially intRoductory chemistrY

i dun unersTAnd a siNGle shIt from thEre

and there will be a Test this weEk..haiZz

arGGHH...Juz hOW im suppOSd to dO noW?..

once agaIn...

we hAve to trEAsure whAT we haVE for nOW

coZ u maY nOT knOW..

sicknEss oR anythiNG might happEn to U or to ur parenTS

at any mOmeNt...

haIXx..

hopiNG dAt they wiLL recovEr soon~

*suffErings wiLL briNG swEet endiNGS*

its 4 Am plUS nO..

stiLL cudnT get to foRCe myselF to sLeeP

arrgHH..was on the cOm afTEr camE home frOm the hOspitAL

sTill...no imPRovemENt aT aLL

i dun nOE if yA' aLL beliEve in thIS

sumoNE IS tryiNg to kILL my dAd usiNG bLAck magIC

my mUm weNT to seE the mAlay traditiONaL perSon

he sAid thAT sumoNE iS killIng my dAd sloWly

WTF?..lucky mY mum wenT to seE him yESterdAy

nOW that persoN is figHTing bacK the black mAgic..

haiZz..iVE gota to belieVE thiS..iTS reallY obvioUS..

can sEE my dad reallY rottiNG..

but foR whatevEr it is..i wiLL pray everythiNg will be fiNE soon

juZ wana BE back as noRmaL like lASt tiME

im reallY lookIng frowarD to thiS daY..

and nOE sumthINg..tHAT evil persoN does the samE to my mUm too

dats why my mum stiLL havent recoVEr tiLL noW..

the doCs wILL nvR recoVEr my parEnts tOO..

the onlY wAy is to fight bAck thaT blaCk magIc..

really soundS scaRy siaLZ..*wonderinG*

haizZ..but ivE got To belieVE thIS reaLLy..

toDAy..wooTX..collect mY hP

4 dAys senD for repaiR..kAox

my scrEEn just becaME blank afTEr i dropped It

luckilY can be repAire *pHew..

hmm...juz wonderiNG..

this yeAr..days jus pasSed by so QuicklY

iTS july nOW..and gona be auguST soOn..whacKX

so faSt liao...argHH

hMm..

jUZ kindA misS u~~

jUZ dunO whY Le..

arrghH..nvm..

i ve gotA make myselF sleEp noW

no one's onlINE noW..bORed..

niTEx nitEx..latTErss

haIX.juz feeL like bloggiNG
todaY really bad dAy
my hAndpHoNE drOppEd..
nOW my phONE canT on..tHE scrEEn veRy blUr
im jUZ scarEd if i seND for warrAnty i mUZ pay..dIE~.no moNEy
hoPE fRee for the warrAnty carD..haIX
for those ppL who wanA sms oR caL me
sorriEx kX..
anyThiNG jUZ talk in mSn mayBE im oNliNE
everYday weNt to hospiTal afTEr skOOL
sEe my fAthEr lyiNG on the bEd so restLeSs
tHE doCs stILL cuDnt fiGure oUt my dAd's sickNEss
my daD havEnt slePt for 6 days reAdixx till nOw
haiX..piTy hIm..boTh my pareNts arE siCk
no oNE undErstanDS mE foR noW~~
my mUm's cant go for tRAetmenbT agAIn
coZ my dad'S sick and cant sEnd my mUm to KL
haIXx..the ceLLS are sprEAdiNG to my mUm's chEeks theRe
face quiTE rEd..im jUZ feeLing hoPElEss to sEe all theSe happeniNg
haIZz..bEen thinkIng realLI a lOTX
evErythiME goiNG to skOOL
wiLL thinK duriNg the jOurneY in the TRAin
wheNEveR me and my oTher 2 bRo werE at the HospitAl,
wILL tRy nOT to cRy..bUt wILL crY afTEr gET ouT of hOspiTAL
hAIxx..thIS yeAR rEAlly bAd lUCk upOn mY famiLY
hopIng bOTh my parEntS wiLl recoVEr
anD hoPE lucK wiLL bE upoN thEm
oR miraCleS happEns...

haPpy buRthdAy mUm..
evEN thoUGh ure siCk..
may u gEt weLL sOOn..
tHAnks for evErythiNG'

haiXx..yesterdAy went Home at abt 2am
my dad's beeN adMittEd to the HospiTal at ttSh
tan tock seng hosp..thinGS are jUSt mesEd up thEre
my my daD was brouGht to the emErgEncy warD
and guess waD? fuCk it..all rOOMS ARE FILLED UP..
wtF? what do the nurses eXpect my dad to dO?
the nursEs there arE juST likE poles,diD not take any blood test or what
to my dad,heck tempErature all theSe..WTF?
till my mum ask them do then THey do..
my daD was liKE shiveriNG all the wAy
and all the partS of my dad's bODy are in dam Dam great pAin..
i can See iT..how the paiN my dad hAve to bEAr
haiXx..why muz this sickness camE to my dad in juST a shoCk
my dad's waS healthY..and i duDnt imagIne this had happEneD
my mum's got nose cAncer,my dad'S condition gettIng worSe
stlll uNDer observatiOn in the emErgency wArd..
till nOW...i cud nt conCentraTE on my stuDieS
its lIKE ive beeN so quieT in clAss..dats why i talK less sinCe i came in this skOOL
days pASsed by..seeINg both my parenS suffEr in greaT pAIn
for those pPL ouT therE..
treAsure ur parents and waD u haVE noW..
for mE..thinGS havE just chanGEd..
changed and changEd..
haiXxx..

life's meaninGless to mE noW..

botH my paRenTS are roTtiNG as daYS passEd bY..

my dAd's goTA havE stroKE or paRkiNsoN iF mattErs beCamE worSer..

thiS's the firSt tiME oF my entIRe liFe thAt i havE to see all theSe..

my dad's cant waLk or siT too muCh

no appEtiTE,no strEngTH..so weAk

haiZz..foR thoSe pp L oUT theRe

i waNA say thIS to yoU..

tReaSure whAt u havE for nOW

treasURe ur parEntS..

liVE whAt u havE noW..

aND fOR pPL likE mE..

itS baD luCk upOn my famIly

canT slEep weLL evErydAy

beeN thinkINg so haRD on wAd to Do nOW

iTS likE iTS suddenlY hapPenEd to mY dAd

and im jUZ as shOCked as iT wAs..haIXx

for mY mUm..had beeN cryIng eveRydAy

my fAmilY jUZ cudnT do anythINg abT it

i reaLLy treasURe the tiMEs i had wiTh my famIly in those paSttimes

bUT noW..it HAs changEd my liFe..

cuDnt havE anymORe famiLy reunitEd agAin..

actuAlly i dun waNA wriTE abt thIS in my blOG..

haiXx..but jUZ really wanT to wriTE it

i juZ dun wanA diSturb my freNDs whu r takiNG the O's or N's diS yR

haIXx..wheNevEr i seE my dAd nad muM like dAt

i havE to contrOL..bUT reallY reaLLy cannOT

wiLL jUST burSt aLL oUt...

im reAlly reaLLy dun nOE what to dO noW..

feeL likE quittinG skoOL and staY at hoME

jUZ dun haVE the moOD to do anythIng...

haizZZ

i jUZ canT bEAr to sEe my dAd suffEring agAin

As dAys passEs bY,he"s becoMinG morE siCk

todAy my dAd is like gaspIng for aiR

harD to breAthE..hands shivEring,,all theSe

arGhh..the doC my dad wenT to saiD my dad

wiLl got strokE or parKinsoN iF matters reallY get worSe

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?..

1st was mUm.now my daD..

im roTtinG to sEe all these happeniNGs

cuDnt concenTratE on my studiEs for noW

keeP thinkiNG oF aLL theSe..haIZz..

wannA approAch feW of my freNDs

but suM o lVls and n lvlS diS yeaR

duN waNA distURb them nemORe

haIxx..my mUm criEd noN stoP daT dAy

my mUm still goes to woRk evEn thouGh she's siCk

todAY my dAd rushEd back hoME from woRk

theN straighT awAy lIE down on bEd

my dAd cant takE it anYmoRe..

jUZ whY muz dis aLL happenEd to me??

im prayIng dam dam dAm very haRD for my parenTS to rEcovEr fAst

especiallY my daD..suddEn sicknEss..

reaLLy piTY him..cant eAt cholestrol fooD

no appetiTe,becomiNG more thinnEr

cannOT stand or sIT loNG..haiXx

im lOSt foR noW..juz cudnt imagiNE dat all theSe happenEd

and it reaLLy makE me reallY so depreSsed...

haiZZ..im sO soRry fOR nOT bloGgiNG fOR sO loNG
wAs dAm buSY theSe dayS..
im takiNG theSe chanCe to updaTE my bLog
jUZ thoSe fuCked thingS happenEd
my mUm's jUZ woNT go fOr the CheckUp
and the doCs said to pOStpoNEd to 28 jULY

bUt dUn nOE whetHE my mUm wiLL gO

yEsterDAy..haIZz..was worSt

there wEre a lOT oF blooD comiNG ouT nOn stoP

my nEice wanNA caLL the ambUlancE bUT my mUm wonT let

iNt he enD bougHT soME ice pUT on my mum"S noSe

haIZz..my dad'S alsO siCk

tHE doC saiD my dAd's goT sliGht pRone to stRokE

haiZ..juz canT beAR to seE him shivEriNG all daY

and no appEtitE alSo..haiXx

bOth oF my parenTS are siCK

my dad"S nervE on hIS the area besiDe the stomaCh buRSt

hE's got diffiCultY to walk anD cant stand fOR loNG

had to liE on bed..

my dad'S have not workEd for 2 weekS

he'S juZ very weaK

everYdaY had to haVE a lOOkout oN mY dad

massAge my dad' leGS..aLL thosE

haiZz..whY muZ dis havE to struCk me??..

i juSt cuDnt have FAmilY harmonY anymORe

i cuDnt tasTe mY mum's coookInG anymORe

iTs alwayS my maiD cook

and i WiLL nOT eaT..nEveR

my dAd iS becomiNG mORe thinNEr

no appEtiTe alSo..haIZz

jUZ cuDnt beaR to seE mY boTH of pArenTS siCk

whEn wILL be tHaT day whEn mY famiLY will be reUnitEd

i had beeN prayIng HArd and hopiNG they wiLL recoVEr faSt

sumTimes wILL cRy anD preteND nOT to cry infroNT of mymUm anD dAd

haIZz..thE suFferinGS iVE gonE thRu

wiLL jUZ continUE..havE to bear wiTh iT

haiZz..

pLZ spAre my mUm and dAd..

dUn tAKe tHEm awaY..PLizz..

im beggINg thIS time rouND..

haiZz..im jUZ rottiNG~~

my lIfe kiNDa useLSs nOW~

thiS juSt goNa be woRsEr in thE daYS to coME..

haiZZ..

wOOtX

jUZ camE bAck hOmE

fROm a TiriNG Long dAy

it wAs jUZ a SurpRise fOR mE

sHE saID waNA meeT me to paSs me sumThinG

haD to ruSh tO noVenA afTEr sKoOL

aLSo dUn nOE wad Le..

ahaCkX..aND iVE got mY posT birthDay preSenT

i liKEd iT..=)

whICH was lAst twO monTHs agO..LoLX

hOW sWeet oF hEr..thaNkiEwX vEri mUCh

*mUAcKX*

wooTX

a nEw pErson jUZ joINed oUR clAss

sHE was on The waiTing liSt

shE was jUZ differeNT from aLL

lIKE wenXin they aLL..

ahAckx..

she jUZ remiNDs mE oF cLAriSSa

HEr facE dam sAme liKE herS

whaCKx..couDnt imAGine IT

me And fayYAz sat besiDe hEr

coZ she's loNELy

tHEn stArt lArhX..talKEd and talKEd

fOR the whoLe lectuRe..LoLX

dat was in The morniNG

afTEr skOOL..

weNT to CuT haiR..

wAna gO rebOnd My frinGE

makE it moRe liKE easIEr to styLE

onlY the frinGE onlI

bUT din GO do daT

mayBE nXt weeK or wHat

mUZ go ask my dAd foR monEy

haIX..14 mORe daYS

2 mORe weeKs

dun woRriEx..

sHE wiLL bE fiNE..sHE wiLL

evERythING's gONA be alRiGHt

suFFeriNGs wiLL briNG sweEt resuLts..

thIS soNG 'tHE truTh bY gooD charLottE..'

jUZ loVe thIS soNG dam dAm muCh..

arrGhh..soRry keL..

i canT go fOR the goOD charlooTE conCert oN 12th juLy

daM saD..i gOT lectURe anD practICal teSt

wasTEd siaLX..

iTs liKE onCe a lIFetiME i wuD gEt to mEEt thiS banD

anD see thEir liVE real facEs..arrGGhh..i cant go..

jUZ wisHEd to jaM thiS soNG..

bUT dun havE guitAr tabS..

heYYs..kElsoNN and farIS..

if uRe alL wanA go jammINg

aSk me alSo..i waNA siNG

i bE the voCaliSt..

hMM..oNE timE recoRdEd at kElsonn's hSe

still rmb laSt yEar..i siNG and kEl playEd the guitAr..

the soNG 'thank You mum' bY gC

iTS reallY got the mOmenTS in mE

felT likE singiNg thIS soNG agaIn

i jUZ loVE this sONg anD thank you muM bY gc alSo

madE mr rmb the moMEnts of last timE

nOW my mp3 is loSt

wastEd..tHEr goT my recoRdingS i sanG wiTh keL

so nICe..perfEct..at 1st sanG den lauGh

keep oN practiCe..till pErfeCt

wooTX..so paiSeh Le..

i leT sumoNE hear my recoRdinGS

den sHE paSsed arouND

tiLL my whoLE clAss gonA wanA listEn my recordiNGs

but truLy sialAr..when's the nXt time we geT to jAmmed agaIn?

sinCe all arE buSy...

pLAnniNG to maKE my oWn bANd

farIS thE rhyThm

mAnan baSsiSt

hAdi drumMEr

mayb faris alSo lead

den mE vocaliSt,sinGEr

wahhX..dun noE when can mAKe perfeCt..haIXx

onCe agAin,

im jUZ rottiNG agaIn

rot roT roT..im roTtinG

afTEr seeINg the doCumenTS oF my mum's cAse

was jUZ likE pulliNg mY heaRt doWn..

seeiNG the x raYs filMs scanS of my mum's noSe

arrgHH..i jUZ canT beaR iT..

i nOE that thiS wuD break mE..

but jUZ havE to wait till 20 juLY

sTop thinKing abT aLL theSe

waDEva lArhx..

itS aLL jUSt faTE's jOb..

i mUst nOt bE thiNkiNG and thInkING liKE oNE kiND of retArd

liKE waD u sAid 'suFferiNGs wiLL brIng swEet reSultS'

20th oF juLy......will i nOE the ouTcomE..haiXx

hmM..todAy dIn weNT home sTr8 After skOOL

weNT to mEet Up wiTh keLsoNn and kAiheNG

hOMe is bOriNG..wILl makE mE thiNK oF all Those

wEnt tO bUgiS maRkEt

wAlk waLk onLI

dEn weNT to buGis 'eDgE' upsaTirs

iT seEms dAT im goNA bUy loTS anD loTS of thiNGS

aLL thoSe itemS iw As attraCtEd..wooTX

waNA bUy the panTS froM rebiRth shOp

dam nICe anD tHE bELT wiTH a chiAN danglINg at 77th strEet

wahhXx..bUt no moNEY siaLX..

aLL goNE..leFt 5 dollarS plUS in baNk

dat tiME spenT quiTE a lOT..thINkabT 60 plUS

jUZ by bUyign a bAg aND the addiDas shOE

wahhXx..stRess liAo

whEN will i geT the hOLS..to starT part tiME joB..haIXx

augUSt?? octobEr?? so loNG...arrGGHHhXx

dAmn..iTS vEri loNG..

stOp thinKing lArhX hAyQaL

iTS jUSt no uSe~~

i hAVe to tHInk wHAT iS bEst

anD whAT iS gooD FOr thE nExT..

itS beEn vEry loNg..

sEeiNG bAck the mOmenTS

was jUST likE mAkiNG me realISe oF sumthiNg

yOu reAlly reaLLy maDe mE feeL dat iTS nOT the enD yeT

aND you enCourAged me a loTX

i appReciatE daT reALLy..

tHanKX..

hAiXx..sKooL suX toDay

iTS liKE evEryonE in mY clAss anD the lecTUrers..

aLL askIng mE whY todAy im so difEreNt

i Juz sAId nuTHing..

aND im jUZ so dAM quiEt todAy..

ivE goT no mooD siNCe thIS mornIng i woKE up

iVE bEen thiNkiNG baCk oF whAt wiLL happEN neXt

iTS liKE im tIred oF thiNKig abt aLL thiS

fOR monThs anD monThs..

im JUZ prayIng haRD dAt my muM's condItion wiLL imPRoVe

aND no fuCkiNG radiOtheraphy oR chemOtharapY shIt

it wiLL ruiN mY mum's HEalth anD worSer liKE beiNG weakEr

i jUZ wanA bE liKE whaT mY famiLy useD to BE last tiME

nOW..itS as iF likE mY dad talKS rarelY and go hoME slEep

mY dad'S compAny iS goiNG to clOSe dowN

maybE a fEw weeKS latEr,mY dad wiLL gET retrEnchEd

arrGhhX..wHY mUZ dIS happEn?!?

eVErydaY go tO skOOL..alwAYs thINk abT aLL thIS

foRciNG myseLF to BE buSy is likE mAkiNG myseLF moRe woRsE

haIXx..i reallY dun waNa talK abt thIS mattEr anymORe

bUt it wiLL camE to mY miNd alwaYS

mY 3rD brotHEr saW my dAd criEd fOR the firST timE in hiS rooM

my dad's siSter HAve jUSt pasSed awAy last fEw monTHS

aND thiNkIng a loTx abT his jOb and My mUm

thIS iS the woRst and woRst feeLing i gOT

arrGHhx..ivE gotA makE myselF busY and forgET all thiS till 20 juLy

i NEed to oVErcoME all dIS

can suMoNE teLL mE hOW?!?

arrGHHxX..

hMm..JUZ caME back hOme agAin

soOO tirEd...

1stlY at 8 wAs liFe skiLLs lecTure

learN hOW to cOmmuNicatE

aND talk iN froNT of auDienCe

dEn afTer dAt Got princiPAl talk at auDitoRium

aLL mUSt weAR HE poLO piOneer tShiRt

mINE wAs reD coLOr..

fOR studenTS aof appLIed health and scinEces must weAr red

fOR ebgineerINg is gREen

fOR iCt weAr yElloW..ahaCkX

hMm..tHE PrinciPAL talk woAHHhhhhh

sooo boriNg ..makE me wanA slEep

was doZng oFf bUT gOT oThe rlectuRers tHEre

so cant slEEp..contRol for 3hRS!!! siAnX Le..

afTEr dAt whEn fOR lunCh at tHE cafEteriA

bU dam pacKEd..aLL tapAo Le

den gO stadIUm eAt tHEr ke..

dEN balR..bLAr..analYtiCal chemIStry

oKAy larHX..nIT so sleePy

afTEr dAt P.E!!!!

mY clasS gOT a fuCked uP pE teAchEr

she sAid mUst go swimMing teSt aND NAPFA test

wTF??i ot afTEr sc sChooL no mORe napFA

WAHHH..2.4km run..dIE..cannOT run..sHIT

pULl up..dIE kE..can oNLi do hmm onlI 4..LOL

loNg nvr trAIn SialX siNCe i stEp down FrOm NCC

KAox..afetr pe..weNT cafetEria agaiN

cooL dowN..was PErspiriNG dam a lOt

as usuaL tooK the trAin agaIn

dEn back hoME..

arrGHGGhxx..GooD charLOtte conCert on 12 julY

bUT i cANt go!!! arggHXX

i gOT dun nOE waD practICal lectuRe wad shIT

dam..im gonA miss IT

everyTime took the trAin can sEe the advertISe at thE Tv

wah..kElsoNN can Go..i wastEd lE..arrghh

nVm..mAybE nXt tiME can kE..

hMm..my mum'S condition fOR now is a bIT stabLE

bUt stiLL blOOD comINg ouT

Its liKE she's alWAys dizZy and nO appEtitE

wahHX..kaOX..

20 jUly tHE check uP..

u mUST RECOVER PLZ..

plZPLZ..if nOT..arrGHH

i woNT lET the doctORs do tHE radioGraphY..

nO wAY~~~~!!arrgHH

hMm..JUZ came back

phEW~~hMM..

as usUal skOOL..

8am-10am iS lAb safEty practICes lEcture

okAY larhX..thE lecturer dAm funnY

deN 10-11.30am iS laboratory maThs

whacKX..i nOE aLL..LOLx

coZ i tooK a-matHS be4..aLL liKE eaSy liao

ahacKX..bUT everyoNE was agaiNSt the lab maTHs lectureR

she's daM fuckiNG monotoNE,dun nOE how to TEach..LoLX

hmM>>den weHHOOO..2 1/2 h brEAk

went to eaStpoINt with 10 ppL to eAt

actuaLLy wanA go BAnqueT

den so pAcked..deN wenT fooDcourT

i atE fish and chIPs..bUT enD up din fiNish..

whaCkkx..weNT back to sKOOL afTEr daT

weNT to the librAry..sIT down talK coCk tiLL 2pm

den stArt anoTher LectURe

anaLyticAL chemiStry..WOO~

so hArd..i dUn unDerstaND siALX..

den iTS 5pm..enDed skOOL

me,aiN and heNA weNT hoME by mRt

rashID and mUk went by bUS

the otEHr 6 ppL went bY the bUS oppOSite my skOOL

woOTS..1hr 45 mins triP to rEAch sembAwanG..

so lONG Le..whAckX

laterSSss..ivE gotA homeworK to Do..

newAy jUZ wana tEll u aLL

dat mY hp iS repaiRed..so nO worriEs

u aLL can smS me readIXx..

hmMM..laterSSs

sKoOL's fINe tOdaY..

hAd tO wakE uP aT 5aM

lEft hSe aT 6am

reAchEd my skOOl at 7.45am

phEw~so fAr Le~~~

bUT i reALLy liKEd thE skooL

goT oWn swiMMing pOOL,oWn stadiUm

everytHing alSo havE Le..

maDe a fEw frenDs thEr..

hMM..nOE a fEw..

jUZ noW goT life skiLLs courSe

commuNicatiOn skiLLS

muSt gO arouND everyOne aSk to siGn dunOE what lArhX

hMM..the skOOl sO biG Le..

everytIme im loSt..so paisEh

thIS morniNG i repORt to wroNg lectUre rooM..LOLX

lUckY mY frenD saw mE and shoUt my naME..LOLX

hMm..maybE back tO skOOl makEs me feEL bettEr

and filLEd UP mY emptY miND

ive trieD to foRget everythINg oF tHE paSt

buT it woNT..haiXx..nVm..

aT leaSt i kepT myselF buSy..iTs okAy

hmm...mY hP iS dropPEd dat timE

and noW..nOE wAd? sumtimE ssiao liAo

whEn i senD smS..the perSon dIn receiVe

wahHXx..kaOX..mUSt go send repaIR lE

i nVr regrEt goiNg inTo thiS courSe..reaLLy..

ITs jUSt perfeCt..itS juZ mY frenDs dAt encOuragEd me~

hMm..yesterdAy suMoNE muZ be appOnted the clAss raP

lUCky nOT me siaLX..phew~~

aLL vOte foR weN xiN..waHHAx

she's gOT the respOnsibIlity face..LOLX..realLy lE..

My clAss advisOR caN sAy okAey lArhx..

she'S vEry spoRtiNG..nOE hOW to teaCh aLL theSe

hMM..bUT the discipLIne commITee reallY suX

say i mUZ cuT hair shORt..den i diN cuT

heck carE larhX..stUpid oLD botak mAn

hmM..im juz hAppY..

to hAve chOOSen thIS paTH

and makE the rigHT beginnINg

its jUSt the nEw begiNNing of a whOLe nEw liFe..

ivE goT tO fiND sUmoNE to tuRn tO to sharE my pRobLems

yEahX..hoPE sO~~.foR my mUm's condiTion..im SAd

IT's jUSt gona aiNT gEt anY bettEr

canT bear to See hEr likE thesE..haiXx

foR thosE ppL whu i dIN replY uR smses..im sorriEx

coZ my hP is uNDergoiNG repaiR..

afTEr the rePair..aLSo siaO agaIn..nvm larhX

jUZ havE to rmB dAt

i havE to maKE it thrU sumhOW~~

jUZ camE back fRom skOOl

can sAY i skIp mY lEcture..so fuCked up boriNG

jUZ wenT out oF skOOL liKE daT

dUn nOE larHX..tmR confirM kenA sum kiND of pUnishmEnt

i gOT ouT of mY skoOL aT 11 plUS..dEn weNT homE

tooK the 969 bUS froM tampINes inTErchangE

aLL the wAy tO wooDlanDs intErchangE

anD sumthiNg hoRRiblE and pAiseh hapPEned

reaLLy paiseH lE..

i sat aT the froNt..mY frends saT behiNd..

tHEre waS this chiNEse giRL sAt besiDe mE

shE tooK ouT her jackEt aND woRe iT anD sLepT

anD i slEpt tOo..anD noe waD happenEd?!?

hEr heaD wAs lyiNG oN my shouLDer..

whIch at dat timE i was SleepiNG too

and afTEr a whiLE my frEnd alsO saiD dat mY head Also reSt on HErs too

i saID wTF?!? wheN sialX??iTs liKE we boTH got relatiOnshIp likeDDAt

bUT wher gOT?LOLX..dam paiSeh..whEN i wokE up..

her head stiLL on my shouLDer lE..i kePt quieT..

I jUZ dunnO wad wiLL happEn if shE wokes uP

sumoRe liKE so nEar..waHhxX..

wheN shE wokE up,sHE saw mE..den Said soRry anD smilEd..LOLX

and thE neXt bUS stop was whEr shE droppEd oFf

LOLX..sialarHX..paisEh liKE fuCk

newAy my timetabLE reallI suX

everydAy 8am-5pm..so stREss..

had to EnduRe 2 yrS le or nOT..haiXx..

hMm..mum'S goIng foR her lasT treatmEnt tonIte at kL

i jUZ dunnO wad to Say..

as i can See..thEr's bLooD comiNG out agaIn liKE last timE

itS likE why mUZ diS happeN?

i tot iT was oKAy readiXx..buT it stArt agaIn..haiXx

jUZ hopiNg thinGS wiLL cooL down sOOn be4 20 juLy

for her checkUp..hmM..im tired foR noW..

jUSt laterssS

iVe goTa teLL thIS..

mY mum'S canCer stiLL havEnOT reCovEred yEt

yeT..iTs becOmiNG bacK likE laSt tiME agaIn

bLooD comiNG ouT agaIn..aLL theSe..

haixX..20th oF juLY wilL bE the checKup

i dUn wanA thE doctoRs to pErfoRm thE theRApy

i dUn waNA tHE doctoRs tO do anyThiNG to mY muM

tHE treaTmenTs arE finE lasT moNth

nOW it cAme bAck agaIn..

stAge 3..i tinK mayB nOW iS stAge 4 oR mayB 5..

haIxx..jUZ dunO waT tO saY noW

tinKIng bAck oF thE chanNEl U shoW..haiXx

tmR im staRtiNG skOOL..1st daY..haTE iT

jUZ wanA to stAy homE anD taKe carEx OF mY mUm

wiLL tHE tumOR bE faDed awaY sooN?..

wiLL thE mattEr be mORe woRse?..

i dUN waNA loSt u~..bUt..faTe wiLL detErminE iT

haiXx..im bAck tO dePRessiOn agaIN~~

anD agaiN..agaIN..

haIxx..im siCK maN..
sIncE mY grAndmA camE to mY hsE,
thE whoLE hSe is kAoX..
keEp naggIng aND nagGIng anD naggINg
dEn wHEn shE makE foR me mY breAkfaSt,
i saID latEr i eaT,dE shE scOld aND naG tiLL i caNNoT takE it rEAdix
thIS monDay stArt skOOL..iM ReaLLy nErvoUS..fUCKin' NErvoUS
dUn nOE waD wiLL hapPEn tO mE nXt..hAixx
mY mum's canCer tiLL noW stiLL havEnt reCovEred
tHE treAtmEnt's are jUz uSelEss..

i weNT fOR thE treATmenT too..

bUt mY GastRic woNt stOP

iTs liKE everydAy ivE beEn attCked bY gastRic..

siCksICksiCk OF thiS...
20 juLy wuD be thE checkUp anD screeNiNG of hEr
iF daT tumoR iS stiLL insiDe hEr..haiXx..chemOtHArapy..alL thoSe
FUCK!..stupID treatMentS..wasTE timE onLy..
jUZ dunnO waD to Do..evErytimE comE oUT a Lot oF bLood in HEr noSe
iTS likE patHEetiC whEn i sEe iT..aaRRggHXx~~
fuCkEd up..reALy fuCked Up~
arrGHxx..wAd shUd i dO noW???

nO oNE caREs ritEx?arrGHxx

yEapX..Im sOo hAppY tOdaY

waHHXx..wEnt sHoPPiGN anD shOppIng yEsterDay

i bougHt tHE miz29 BAg..aT lasT phEw~~waHHXx..

aND ..hMm..tHE fasHIon stEreO headSet fOR mY phoNE..

sO nicE..fuLL whiTE..wahHXXxx

todAy weNT swimmING aT 8 aM

wahHXx..sO earLy in The moRniNG

craZyy..bUT acTuaLLy nOT

waS sO enErgeTiC Le..

mAnan anD faRis sAid swIm 10 Laps

i saID i caNNot..sEow~~

i oNly sWim 7 lAps..bUai tahaNX laRHXx

hMm..We sAw thIS twO giRls..

oNE oF thEm lOOkeD liKE malAy

acTuallY nOT..chiNEse

fuckINg tAnnEd skIN..sOo nICe..waHHXx

YEapX..dEn weNT to fAris hSe..

tOok tHE guiTAr..pLAyed a FEw sonGS

dEn tHEy caME to mY hsE

fAris broUGht thE wirEless LAn cabLE

we plaYEd warCraft fRozEn thrONe

yeaPX..sO fUn..tHEY briNG theiR lapTops

wooTX..played fOR so LOnG.wahHXx

haiX..yEsterdAy mY biLL caME

anD WTF?? coSt 64.33 doLLars

i wAs stunNed..wtH siAlx.

thEy sAid i uSe a LOt oF gpRs

waHH sIAoxx..evEn the sMS i dIn excEEd

foR gpRs i exCeeD..wTF??

anD my dAd wahHXx.. nAgginG anD naggiNG..

aiYa..nxt mOndaY sTart skOOl Liao

wooTX..aS i sAid nEw liFe,nEw ppL..wHAcKKxx

wahhXX..i sPEnt 70 pLus yESterDAy sHoppINg

mY banK moNEywaHHx..dUn nOE wad to sAy

lEft 90 plUS..dEn pay mY biLL lEft 30 pLUS

so sAd lE..hoPE to fINd a paRt tiME joB AsAp Le..

hMM..staYiNG t hOme oFtEn rEaLLy sUX..

dAm fuCKiNG boRiNG..

pHEw~my frEnds aLL hoLS coME readIXx

sO nO worriEs..YEapx..

hMMmm..tODay's iS dad"s biRtHdAy

wOOtx..JUz waNA wiSh tHE besT of healTh.

lAterSSsss

nYeh..nYEh ..aaRGghXX

i mUSt gO bUY thE neW a7X aLbUM

arrGHHxx..cAnt taKE iT Le..

tHE sOngZ sO nICe ..

espEciallY bAt counTRy..waHHXxx

thE liVE vErsioN..whAccKKXx

shIt..sHIt..fUCk..

mUZ gO bUY...arrGGhhxx

tHE inTRo guiTar sOlo wAhhX so nICe

tHE ppL mosHiNG in fRont oF the pErfoRmancE..

waHHXx..sTReSs liAo..

a7X u roCkeD my sOCkS ma!!

im prOud OF u..

i LurvVE UR soNGs dAm dAm mUCh

hMm..tOdaY dID nutHinG aT hOme

dIn wEnT oUt eItHeR

daM LazY Le..

wAs dAm sLeEpy toDAy

sLepT aT 5 aM pLuS lIKedDat YEstErdaY..

wAd bUsy meSsagIng aND chattIng tiLL 5 aM PluS..wTF..kaoX

woKE uP aT 7am..sLEpt 2 hRs oNLy..WtF..

whAacKXx..mY eyEs aRE daM tirEd..arrGGhxX..

hMmm..tmR wiLL bE goING tO kL

as usUAL..mY mUm's caNCeR trEAtmEnt

iM praYIng hArd mAn dAT tHE ceLLs wiLL be deAd

bE4 goINg foR thE nxT checK uP at sG hospiTAL oN the 28 juLy

oR nOT..radioTHerapHy aND chemoTherapY..

arRggHHXx..tHIs wiLL nOT happEn...

hAixX..wAd u sAid LAst tiME..

"suFFeriNGs wiLL bRiNG swEet resUltS"

lIKE thoSe iN exAms,u stUdy dAm harD..

enD uP ure hAppy wiTh ur resuLts..

YEahXx..tHEre wiLL bE swEet oNEs afTEr aLl theSe..

onCe agAin..nO mORe sighINg agaIN..=

i jUZ neeD sUmoNE tO shaRE my feELings wiTh

anD vicE vErsA..yeapX..dAts aLL

iM ouT..

yeapX..eVErythINg cAme to aN eND..

hMM..waHHx..

10 moRe daYS to sKooL

NEw liFe..nEw friEndS..nEw begiNNinG

juZ havE thE nErvoUS feELinG

aND a bIt oF jOy feELiNG..YeaHX.waHaHAxx

hMM..tOdaY dIn gO oUT cOZ sOo tIreD

My fEet stILl harDcoRe daM bListErs

jUZ bEcaUSe We weNT shoppIng dAt tiME

wiTh keLsoNn,kAi henG aND tKT

wahHX..dEN i boUGht tHE shirT

asKEd mY freND tO heLp me pUT insIDe hIS baG

wahHX..nOW mUZ gO meeT hiM agaIn

gO taKE my thINgs i spEnt daT day..

haiYA.laZy lE..

hMm..grandMA iS bacK!!

anD guEss wad'S hapPEniNG?

sHE's daM reaLLy KAOX!!

kEEp talKinG anD talkING anD talkING nOn-stOp

arrGHXXx..vEri irritatiNG Le..

sumtiMEs sLaM tHE doOR

dEn talK shIt abT mE and mY brotHErs

saY daT tiME i saY i gO swimmING

sHE sAy i gO sumWherE. elSe.waHHX..KAOX MAN!!

arrGHXXx..vErY stREss LiaO..

woOTxX..im dOign fOR kELsoNN's bLoG fOR noW

HE saY waN gothIC anD daRk desIGn..

yeaHX..creatiNG the waLLpapEr

tHE mUSic,tagbOard all thEse..

hMM..edIted mY bLog bY a bIT on tHE righT sidE

cAn saY okaY larHX..

bUT wiLL crEate tHE neW waLLpapEr agaIn

yeahX..daTS aLL fOR todAy..

im oUT....

iVe LeFt tHE paSt bEhiND..

nEvEr wILL i rEpeAt agAiN

iM soRry fOR whaT iVe dOne wrOng

anD whEn im waiTiNG..

aND whEn iM thinkING..

evEryThIng iS goNE jUZ likEddAt

wHEn tHE daYS paSt..

i fELt iM fuRthEr aPaRT fROm u..

jUZ becAusE u weRe nOT liKE laSt tiME

jUZ becAusE nOw thE feELiNG iS deAd..

evEry secoNd..u wILL

nvr cOMe baCk..

leFt mYseLf wOndEriNG..

aND maYbE oNE daY..wE wiLL meEt agAin..

evErytIme,evEry secOND caME heRe

aND whEn iM thInkiNG,

i wILL waKE uP frOm UR dreaMS

i tiNk thIs expLAins evErythINg..

pLz.. i dUn waN siLEncE fRom u~~~

taKKairEX aND haVE a gOOd liFe~

waHaHaX!!

mY fEet gOT bListErs rEAdiXx

tHE slIppEr i bOughT aT beacH roaD reaLLy sUX maN!

tHE surfacE daM harD..mY feeT liKE itS flaT

arrGGhXXx..

newAy weNT ouT agaIn todaY

mEt kElsonN anD kaIhenG aT yCk mRt

dEn weNT tO quEensWay plAzA

kElsOnN anD kaiHEng waNA bUy thE adiDas jacKEt

bUT iT aLL suX bIG tIME!!LoLX

bUT i boUGht tHE mY chemICaL roManCe shirT

ahAckX..iT wAs dAM niCE.. i liKEd IT..kEkeS..

hMm..dEn waLk aroUNd..sEe thoSe nikE shOEs

thOSe lOW cuT waN..weNT to thIS limITEd edItion shOP

aLL so rARe waNX..bUt thE priCe waHHHXx..sO eX..aiYA..

hMM..hEadEd tO ciTy haLL afTEr dAt

weNT tO citY linK..

agaiN..gO tO addIdaS shOp agaIN..bUT smaLL

nOt quiTe a loT oF varIetY..

hMm..wenT tO sunTEc ciTy toWer 1

tHEre bEttEr LE..

tHE adidAs shOp sHHOo bIg lE

yEahX..gOT loTS oF desIGns

all nICe..esPEciaLLy tHE bLacK colOR oNE

wahHXx..waNA bUY..bUT tiNk agaIN..

arrGHXx..nXt tiME..

coZ i goNA bankruPt sOOn..mUZ gO fiND part tIMe jOb sooN! wahHXx

hMM..kEng tINg caLLEd..sAid waNA go wiTh uS

waiTEd foR hIm aT citylinK the escaLatOR

yuPXx..dEn weNT outSide suntEc..

tOOk pIX fOR aLL oF uS..

dIn uSe mY phoNE..coZ vgA caMEra..LoLX..sUX maN

uSe kEng tiNg pHoEN insTEad..1.3 mEgapixEl lE..lOLX

hMm..we pOSed lOTs oF wAys..yEahX..nICe ..ahaCKx

hMM..dEN i saID i wanA go hoME liaO

so pain mY feeT lE..

sO tHEy weNT to novEna sqUare tO takE pIX agaIn

thEY goNA gO anOTher shOp duN nOE seE wAd larHX

bUT i noT goiNG lE..so tiRed..i canT staND iT readIXx

ahaCkx..weNT hoME afEr dAt..tHEyweNT novEna statIon

i gO sembAwAng..so hErE aM i bloggINg agaIn..

wooTX..chanNEl 8 goNA stRAt readIXx..

laTERrsssssSS

tHE secOnd i sAiD

iTs tHE enD agaIn

iVE left tHE paSt bEhiND

iM suRe tHIs iS thE tiME

jUZ beCauSe yoU weRE nOt liKE lasT tiME

iTs nOW thE feeLinG hAve fadEd awAy

aND maYbE nexT tIme

we wILL meEt agAin

oNE tIme,dOnt eVEr aSk agAin

tHE feELiNG tHAt hAs faDeD wiLL BE deAD

itS lIKE todAy aND tHE paSt daYS

evEry secONd,iT aLL hapPEns hEre

aND whEn mY heaRt weRe dazINg

i wiLL waKE uP frOm uR drEamS

i'LL oPEn yoUR heaRt liKE lasT tiME

evEry stOry wiLL BE evEry secONd wiTh mE

jUZ beCauSe yoU weRE nOt liKE lasT tiME
iTs thE feeLinG tHAt wiLL bE fadEd awAy

ITs nO uSe yOu'rE teLliNG ureSelF

tO keEp fOR yoURseLf

itS aLL tHE regreTS yOu haVE beeN findIng

aLL thE feeLIngS tHAt yoU gaVE mE

iTS jUst mabE neXt tiME....